Normal, a poem

Resharing this poem because of the state of the world. I was going to try to do it as a reading, but my voice is still scratchy from bronchitis.

Have you ever noticed
There is so much that can be made
‘Normal’ and ‘livable’?
Survival mechanisms played
By master technicians,
Musicians of the human mind,
And we let ourselves be
Instruments of uncommon kind.
Played out, worn down, broken,
Barely able to keep the time,
Forced to play others’ tunes
Instead of our own sweet sublime.
We keep running that wheel
Made by those who manipulate
Bodies so bent and weak,
We easily capitulate.
It is then trauma starts,
And we don’t know how to act.
We let fear burn our hearts.
We respond not knowing all facts.
Then we bury it deep
To go on yet another day,
Feeling something so wrong
But never knowing what to say.
We try to live happy
As commodities, money slaves,
Future collateral
Damage, we work to dig our graves.
We feel something is off
And think it must come from inside
Because the disconnect
Between us is so very wide.
Truth still remains within
Down in the depths of our being
If we let go of fear,
Open our eyes and start seeing.
We are all in this mess
And together can become free.
Let’s take back our power
And make ‘normal’ what it should be.

Copyright 2018, Kat Micari

Practicing Using a Tablet

My whole house has been taking turns being sick this past month. I actually am on an antibiotic for the first time since 2009. But I still keep plucking away at learning and playing with new creative skills when I don’t feel up to tackling bigger projects. My 5yo and I actually have been taking turns with my tablet, and I’ve finally started just playing around with free drawing rather than using it to enhance something I’ve previously drawn or painted and scanned in. Here are some of my first efforts, including the alphabet.

It’s okay to be brand new at something. It’s okay to tackle something for fun and not be amazing at it right from the beginning. You never know where the creative path leads.

And if you have any digital drawing or painting tutorials or books you love, please feel free to share them with me! I don’t know if I’ll ever love digital as much as the tactile feel of painting or drawing, but the immediacy of the art form and the ability to edit as you go is definitely a plus.

First Time Contesting YouTube Copyright

I haven’t been sharing much music recently, or even going to my channel on YouTube, so imagine my surprise when I discovered my old recording of Whispering Hope, a popular 19th century song, had been flagged by Sony for copyright infringement. I gather it’s something that has been happening much more frequently, with bots being used by the large corporations to monetize content and crack down on pirated music, but going after a badly played public domain song performed by someone just barely learning a new instrument because you also used a public domain song and professionally recorded it seems like bad form to me. We’ll see how it goes.

In a way, I feel like – “oh yeah, I finally made it. All two of my subscribers are so valuable that the big companies want to steal them” but also, it is so indicative of the world we live in that this kind of thing is happening. Big companies can mine ideas and steal and not credit indie creators but are incredibly protective of anything that might possibly be something that they can get a piece of.

Anyway, the video is below. Isn’t it ridiculous that it got flagged?

Music Monday – a new melody

Music Monday is back! I have wrapped up a couple of big projects/contracts, and I am glad to be getting back into my personal creative projects again which includes music.

This is an original song I’ve been playing with inspired by my dad who passed away last November. It’s been emotional for me but in a good way.

Stepping Into the Stream, Trying Not to Drown

I’m in the process of joining the costume union, which hopefully will mean more and higher paying work for me going forward. I’ve been fairly successful since taking my first film work post-shutdown last July, and had been looking forward to getting a little ahead financially finally with both kids in school freeing up more time for work. But we get a new roof next week on the house, which means a big loan (thankfully with good interest rate) on top of student loan payments starting back up later this year on top of inflation, so getting ahead seems less of a possibility for a little while. I’m feeling the pain of others both locally and abroad and working to adjust myself to feel and honor that without being consumed by it. I’m also still processing the grief of losing my father and managing how much physical work I am capable of doing with the fibro aches that come with that work sometimes. Thankful that I am not left with lingering Covid symptoms from my bout with it earlier in the year. It’s just a lot of pressure bearing down, that I’m easing as I can. You can’t make a diamond from coal without a whole lot of pressure, but I can’t help but wonder how many pieces of coal are ground to dust before they become diamonds. I’m choosing to trust that life won’t mislead me, that if I follow the love, I will be enough. And enough is all I need to be.

Power Structures Need to be Uprooted

I’m tired of wars of acquisition. Of the killing of innocents. Of common people time and again sacrificing lives due to the greed of a handful of megalomaniacs. It doesn’t need to be this way.

I still like the metaphor I came up with years ago, of the bullies in the sandbox. All it takes is for one kid to start grabbing up toys and kicking sand in the other kids’ eyes to ruin it for everyone, and the solution is to take the bully out of the sandbox and not let him play until he learns his lesson. But instead, we get a bully that starts acting this way and then other kids start doing the bully’s work for him, and it becomes essentially a pyramid scheme of power and fear. It is such a waste of energy and completely unfair for the people getting stomped on, and then they have to defend themselves and the destruction continues.

I want us to level up as a species. I don’t want to give up hope. But it’s difficult sometimes. Do we collectively have the courage and strength to change?