This is inspired from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Fun fact, Beatrice and Benedick are my favorite Shakespearean couple.
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Ode to Hero, a poem
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Humpty Dumpty’s Reign
Reblogging this poem because it is oh so appropriate
Humpty Dumpty’s Reign
Humpty Dumpty crowned himself king
He said “It really don’t mean a thing!
Cuz you’ve been serfs for years
So forget all your fears
And keep pretending freedom will ring.”
Humpty Dumpty wanted a wall,
And to get it, he had the actual gall
To shout “Let’s get the ball rollin’!”
And try to use capital stolen
From people who have no will left to stall
Humpty Dumpty spewed out his lies,
Never hearing the people’s painful cries
“It’s as if they’re already dead,
So I’ll ignore the sounds in my head,
And continue to crush them like flies.”
Humpty Dumpty’s fall from grace
Will leave a nation with a big empty space
You can bet the men of power have met
To choose and pull out a new puppet
Thus continuing the system of control apace.
Copyright 2018, Kat Micari
Reflection and Hope
I am combining my year-end reflection and look to the future this year, as this is the first chance I’ve had to really sit and think things through. I dubbed 2016 my Year of Change, 2017 my Year of Recovery from all the change I went through, and 2018 was supposed to be the year I started living the life I’ve always wanted, to step into my full being. Things have not worked out the way I wanted to or as fast as I wanted it to, and I had to contend with some serious disappointments and sad moments this year. I’ve felt ready, but stuck, and I came to the realization yesterday that it’s all been in good time. I’ve been like a seed that has begun to sprout but still needs to work it’s way through the dirt until the sun and air can be felt fully. I’ve done so much to push that dirt out of the way, and now, now I am finally feeling the freshness above me.
So 2018 was a year of internal adjustments, of letting go of some resentment, of recognizing limitations and yet still pushing against them for personal growth. I didn’t get to create as much as I wanted, but I managed to do a little. I finished three paintings and an illustration. I wrote a lot of poems and chipped away at my novel and wrote and published a short story. I wrote one song fully out and really love it. And I created a couple of cool fiber art pieces – one for myself to hang and one for a friend’s wedding gift. I also did and continue to do so much planning.
This coming year, 2019, is a year of Spiraling upward and outward, both for myself personally and collectively. I can feel it. I will be giving notice soon at work, but hopefully leaving myself open to freelancing there if I need to later. I have two big costuming gigs lined up that will take me through spring that will hopefully provide income so I can focus more on the kids and personal creative projects this summer. But I know things will happen as they will. All I can do is say yes to opportunities as they come and make the effort toward creating as I can do so.
I hope you all feel the spiraling energy and let it flow through you this year, that we all have a year of action and of love.
Shortest Day of the Year
It is the winter equinox, and it is the first time in many years that the day hasn’t hung like a stone from my neck. No feelings of discontent and exhaustion, despite my lack of sleep and still being in the same situation for at least a short time longer. No deep despairing over the bleakness and pain of the outside world, though there are many ongoing situations that I still care about. And I haven’t even been good with the vitamin D supplements lately!
So what is the shift? I don’t know, really. Maybe it’s the reading I have been doing lately on the illusion of time and our holographic reality. Maybe it’s a part of the internal shifting i have been doing. Maybe it is a deeper connection to the earth and her movements and being more in sync with everything. Maybe it’s because I have been allowing myself to see the shining light of everyone else lately, and that has been keeping me energized and hopeful.
I wish you all a joyful end of the year, with stress free gatherings for whatever you celebrate, and I hope you allow the lengthening days to energize you in the year to come. I will do my usual end-of-the-year wrap up and New Years post, but til then, keep on shining.
Don’t Speak Ill of the Dead, a poem
Don’t speak ill of the dead
Or of the lies they said
Be ready to forgive it all
Don’t challenge their glory
The official story
Is all that you need to recall
Don’t speak ill of the dead
Forget all the bloodshed
And the dirty deeds they have done
Feel deep shame and remorse
For questioning their course
And the wars that they have begun
Don’t speak ill of the dead
Give thanks to them instead
And wipe the slate clean of the past
Don’t you dare to bother
On sins of the father
Or the legacy that will last
Don’t speak ill of the dead
Or think what lies ahead
Just keep on shedding those sad tears
Keep it all buried deep
Keep on acting like sheep
And don’t worry about your fears
Copyright 2018, Kat Micari
Can you guess whose death this was written in response to?
Also, I feel like this could be developed into a song maybe. We shall have to see.
Becoming Myself Again
I am finally beginning to feel like I am reclaiming myself after the birth of my daughter. With both my children, the first few years of sleep deprivation and wanting/needing to spend time with them over everything else, I had this disconnection from myself. My children were the center of my world, and everything else, even frequently my creative work, just kind of went on autopilot. A necessary sacrifice, and truthfully, when I finally reclaimed myself when my son reached about 2.5 years old, my inner growth the following year more than made up for the pause I took. And my life is about ready to push play again, and even though I am still sleep deprived and still learning self-care again, I feel ready.
Despite feeling on pause for the past couple of years, I have learnt so much about myself. I have tested the absolute limits of my physical and mental strength when I worked myself sick two years ago and had such a slow recovery. I have finally grasped the notion of true care. I have made decisions regarding my work in the future in that I have no interest in doing “bargain” quality work for lower pay but prefer to do the very top quality and detail work and be recompensed fairly for it. That is something I had a hard time with in the past, especially working for nonprofits. I have learned to truly listen and hold space for people. And I have continued questioning and studying, although much of what I have been doing has been internal rather than external. Maybe that is the biggest lesson I’ve had… learning to keep silent not because I have to but because I can learn more in the silence sometimes than in shouting my views out. Comes back to that notion of being an active listener. All very important lessons, but it is now time to step out of the blurry haze of newborn and toddler parenting and into the steadier tread of helping to raise decent human beings and reclaim my sense of self again. I’m very interested to see where my creativity and personal growth leads me. And hopefully you all will be interested too.
Measured Silence, a poem
Inspired from Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure.
Shifting
Things have been slowly shifting for me as we come into the end of the year. I have a long term costuming gig lined up for the spring so the clock is ticking on my doing bridal alterations full-time, and this gig will open up more short-term freelance work in the future, and I am in talks for a design contract potentially at the start of the year… not what I envisioned originally but both will give me some flexibility in time with the family and hopefully set me up so I won’t have to work quite so hard the rest of the year so I can focus on my other creative projects. And both projects excite me and will be a challenge, something my brain really needs.
In the meantime, I have set some fairly audacious goals for the work I do here over the next couple of years. If our civilization doesn’t collapse in the meantime that is. Though I suppose I can always sing songs while fashioning clothing out of whatever is laying around and write and paint on decaying buildings with homemade pigments. It certainly is an interesting time to be alive, isn’t it?
The point is that life will open up possibilities for you, and you should follow them when you can. Nothing ever happens just as you imagine and it never comes as fast as I personally would like it to, but it unfolds in its own time and its own way, and there is a beauty in that.
Normal, a poem
Have you ever noticed
There is so much that can be made
‘Normal’ and ‘livable’?
Survival mechanisms played
By master technicians,
Musicians of the human mind,
And we let ourselves be
Instruments of uncommon kind.
Played out, worn down, broken,
Barely able to keep the time,
Forced to play others’ tunes
Instead of our own sweet sublime.
We keep running that wheel
Made by those who manipulate
Bodies so bent and weak,
We easily capitulate.
It is then trauma starts,
And we don’t know how to act.
We let fear burn our hearts.
We respond not knowing all facts.
Then we bury it deep
To go on yet another day,
Feeling something so wrong
But never knowing what to say.
We try to live happy
As commodities, money slaves,
Future collateral
Damage, we work to dig our graves.
We feel something is off
And think it must come from inside
Because the disconnect
Between us is so very wide.
Truth still remains within
Down in the depths of our being
If we let go of fear,
Open our eyes and start seeing.
We are all in this mess
And together can become free.
Let’s take back our power
And make ‘normal’ what it should be.
Copyright 2018, Kat Micari
Annual Reposting of My Poem Crumbs
Don’t forget, last year I put a video reading of this poem up on YouTube, if you want to see me get a little fired up. I will continue posting this poem every election day until I feel like the American people have made a real shift.
Crumbs is from my collection The Little Book of Insurrection or the Poetry of My Discontent, which is available on both Amazon and Smashwords.
