About a month ago, I began making a concentrated effort to meditate at least a few minutes every day. And I have been successful at least 4 days out of the week. So yay! This is definite progress. The mantra I had chosen for this renewed effort was “I am full of possibilities”. Let me tell you, this mantra has worked in spades. We’ve managed to make it so my husband was able to quit his evening job, I have an appointment next Tuesday to get regular freelance work for the next several months (making GOOD money too, for a change), and my brain has been dumping creative idea after creative idea on me. I seriously have enough writing, art, and music material to keep me going for the next decade at least (and yes, notes have been made on all of them so I don’t forget any). I’ve also had a potential career-changing idea come to me that would change our plans somewhat for life but allow us to be self-employed business owners within a set time frame and give me a skill set that there are literally only a handful of people in the world that are capable of providing. This idea would take time away from other creative endeavors, but I might be okay with that. I need to let it simmer some more.
But here’s the thing, my brain is being pulled in SO many directions right now that I am constantly being distracted. I’m flitting from one task to another, my eye being caught by any shiny object or idea that comes across it, and that’s not where I need to be right now. I need to be focusing on getting Penumbra out. The draft is completely finished, the cover is designed, so I just really need to knuckle down and do the business side of the project. I need to get set up on Smashwords and Amazon, I need to open an account on Goodreads, I need to format the manuscript. I need to tweak each of my pages, and then I need to move on to the print version. But because my inner artist is in “new idea” stage, I’m rebelling against myself, and I end up wanting to sit and make music playlists or plan meals rather than do ANYTHING creative or business work-related.
To focus in, I’m going to give myself tonight to sit and play. Afterwards, I’ll tackle some mending that I can do in front of the TV and relax. Tomorrow we’ll do our household chores before having guests over for dinner, and I will write up a plan, and Sunday I will knuckle down and do the tweaking and formatting that I haven’t been able to bring myself to do. I think I need to turn my creative brain off for a bit, so I’m putting my illustrations on hold until I get to the point of uploading my novella, which will enable me to hopefully be finishing and formatting the poetry collection while I’m waiting for the print version of the Penumbra. And then I can start writing again. Working this day job and trying to carve out what time I can means I can’t easily slip between creative and business brain, so I’m not even going to try. I’ll still sketch and play piano and sing and continue writing morning pages, but I can’t commit my brain to more than that.
I also need a new mantra for my meditation over the next few weeks. One that will allow me to focus in. Any ideas?