Today is my last day working a full-time office job, maybe forever (but maybe not – and that is a reality I accept). It’s a strange feeling. These are people I’ve worked with and spent more waking hours with than my husband and child for years. But I feel like none of them, even the ones that I call “friend”, ever knew me. I was admired for my vintage fashion sensibilities and my smile, praised for my hard work and ability to courteously handle the clients and juggle oh so many duties, and many of them say that I will be horribly missed. But I was a fish out of water. I never found a kindred spirit.
We took a DISC assessment a while ago at work, and I was different from every single person. All of the assistants tended to score high S,C. I was mid-range D, very high I (almost off the chart), low S, and high C. A combination of high I,C is unusual, at least in our office. But what was even more unusual is that they plotted both how we actually are and then how we modify our behavior for our job, and again, with the assistants, their shown behavior was very close to their actual behavior. I brought my I and C way down and upped my S, which meant 1) I adapt very well to fill any role I’m given (the person giving the assessment called me a chameleon) and 2) I had zero hope of actually feeling fulfilled in my role. And if I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I probably wouldn’t feel fulfilled in any role here.
So, here we go, leaping into the unknown. We’re developing our business plans. I’m not expecting to make any significant money under Kat Micari for at least a year, but I look forward to the projects I’m pursuing here. An Etsy shop will be opened as soon as I release the illustrated poetry collection to sell prints. And once we’re settled in after our move, I need to set a realistic timeline for writing music, recording a demo, and trying to crowdsource the funds to record my first album. And we have plans for the creative work I do under my own name. I still need to keep my Kat persona separate from my actual persona, at least until I know if I have to hunt for a full-time job or not this fall, but I look forward to the day where I can co-mingle the two and cross-advertise.
But anyway, big plans in the work, and back up plans to the big plans, and back up back up plans. So much unknown about where this path is going to lead us, but we are following it.