As this weekend is Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to do a post about love and what it means. Love is always an appropriate topic to discuss, I think, but it’s rather ironic because my husband and I don’t celebrate the day beyond a cheeky “Happy Hallmark Day!” and doing some fun crafty stuff with our son.
That being said, I believe love to be the single greatest transformative emotion we humans have the capacity to experience. It is the key to expanding ourselves beyond our current states, to be constantly evolving. So it isn’t something that should be celebrated when the calendar tells us to but reflected on and thought about daily.
I’m not talking solely about romantic love here. Romantic love is great. Sex is great. Having both together is really great. But we’re caught in yet another trap that is sold to us, that we have to constantly be on the lookout for “the one”, that there are these strict lists of what is necessary to have a glorious “true love” experience. That somehow we must find the one person in the world that completes us as individuals and thus cleave to that person and that’s that. And so, in our desperate search to feel complete, we throw ourselves into sex and romance instead of forming deep bonds with people, but it’s the deep bonds that allow you to most open your heart, and this is where the greatest personal power comes from. Even if you do meet the one that could wholly complete you, your “twin flame” (a phrase that gets misused a lot), if you are not already whole and healed and loving yourself, the relationship winds up becoming a destructive one.
I think we should all love as many people as is in us to love. I don’t mean in a free love kind of way, unless that’s your preference (not mine, I prefer one sexual partner at a time and like to know everyone I’m bringing into bed with me), but true and pure love, whether that be romantic or platonic or familial. Being able to open your heart and to willingly hold a piece of other people’s hearts in your hand safely… that is how you combat the fear in the world, both within and without. And that is powerful.