I’ve been opting for silence more and more lately, which is a departure from my usual habits. In the past, I almost always have background noise of some kind, either music or podcasts or, if I’m just doing busy work with my hands, TV/movies of some kind. What I chose to have on varied depending on my mood and what I was doing. But as my life is getting more and more hectic and as I find myself progressing in this pregnancy, I find myself seeking silence in my work or daily life when I have the chance, whether it’s my day job or doing chores or even working out.
It’s nice, in a way, that I’m comfortable enough with myself to truly be by myself on occasion. I don’t know if that was always the case when I was younger. My inner doubts and demons were easier to soothe with music than anything else, and it let me get the job done. And I guess I must be needing to snatch whatever moments I can to ground and center and listen to myself these days. I’m sure I’ll still continue listening to music and podcasts and watching things (especially since we’ve just unearthed our CD and DVD collections from storage), but I think seeking the silence is allowing me to tap even deeper parts of myself, which will help my creative work and personal growth immensely.
Almost in opposition to that, I have a piano tuner coming out Monday to tune my piano in our new house, and on Wednesday evening, I’ll finally have time to sit down and play. It’s been months, so I’ll have to take things slowly, and with my work schedule and trying to unpack taking up a big chunk of my next two months, I won’t have any option but to do things slowly. But I am so excited to make music a regular practice again. And maybe living more in silence with myself will allow my own music to come out more easily. It’s the one area in my creative life that I feel lacking in still, so it’s more than time for me to work on it.