My latest big creative project at work was full of self-absorbed, selfish, catty individuals who seem to thrive on drama. These are adults I’ve been working with, both male and female, many of whom I’ve worked with previously, but for some reason, about 2/3 of the group seemed to be devolving into this chaotic mess. I managed to float above it and fortunately no one chose to direct the cattiness toward me (I can be intimidating somewhat, I’ve heard), but just being around all that crap leaves me feeling drained. And even now that we’re past when I usually am involved, I find myself having to get sucked back in.
I loathe the pettiness, the mean-spirited back-biting, the hypocrisy of claiming certain things while acting in opposition to those values claimed. Life is way too short to sink down to those kinds of levels. And fortunately, most of the time I can avoid it even in the creative, emotional industry I’m in. But when it does rise up, it’s like a virus spreading. Which is too bad, because with all of the really awful things happening around the world, getting worked up over something small seems especially futile.
All of us have such amazing potential within – to do good, to self-heal and then help others heal, to move from our hearts. When people don’t work toward fulfilling that potential, when they instead do harm and cause hurt and create strife, it’s a waste of that other potential. And it is so unproductive. Which is probably my biggest problem with it honestly.
But in a very busy and already tumultuous time of life for me, I’m left feeling sucked dry by this group, which effects my own productivity and ability to create. I’ve been self-healing and crawling forward as I can. Because I have to.