This time at home with my children this year has been really great, but it has left me with not a whole lot of time and energy for writing here or tackling big projects. Add on some freelance costume and sewing gigs finally, and trying to update Originals by Katharine Tracy monthly, it means there are sometimes weeks of no writing or art. I still always carve out time for music even if it’s just 10 minutes on piano every day, but there were a couple months at the start of the year that I couldn’t even play the uke or flute because it seemed like too much effort. The cycle of feeling energized and then almost burning out has been a theme this entire pandemic, and if I’m honest, my entire life. There hasn’t ever been anything like steadiness, which definitely keeps life more interesting.
I have songs and poems and stories and art inside that I hope I will have the chance to manifest into reality. I always chip away where I can. In the meantime, I’m continuing with focusing on my biggest creative endeavor (my children) and consider it such a profound privilege to watch them grow and help shape them into amazing human beings. I am pursuing my costume and sewing work, which is satisfying creatively in different ways. And I have learned to let myself off the hook a little bit. I cannot be a “creative machine”. I don’t need to feel guilt when I need to rest. I’m finally learning to ride my own waves, and that’s where I need to be.
Where are you all emotionally at this point? Hopeful? Despairing? Taking things in stride? Wherever you are, I wish you well.