My body has all of a sudden been craving a lot of sleep lately, and I have been going to bed soon after my children, sleeping in as late as they will let me, and sleeping very deeply in the time I have. And in this deep sleep, I feel like my body is repairing itself in ways that I’ve been longing for.
I couldn’t understand why I was so achy, but I think I was getting minor readjustments all over because this morning I woke up feeling amazing. My psoriasis patches that I’ve had since December 2016 are finally shrinking up. I’ve started vividly dreaming again these past couple of weeks, which has been sorely lacking. And I feel more grounded than I have for a long time. The only downsides are that I’m having a really hard time focusing through this process and feeling achy last week was not fun. And I still struggle with feeling like I’m “wasting” time by going to bed early and not having that time to create or to spend with my husband or to clean the house. But it isn’t wasted. My body is doing what it needs to do to allow me to live my best life while I’m awake.
So, listen to your body. Don’t abuse it. All pieces of yourself should be working together as a team to achieve what you want out of life. This is a lesson I continually have to put into practice for myself.
So, I almost worked/exhausted myself sick again. My inflammation has gotten really bad, causing joint pain that I haven’t felt in a long time. My daughter has been teething her molars still and is going through a huge cognitive growth (her vocabulary has doubled in like a week and she’s started teaching herself her letters!), and waking up every 1 to 2 hours for over a week now, and I’ve been pushing myself to work past midnight every night for over a week too. Last night, my body said “nope” and I went to bed right after my daughter, which was helpful, and I was able to rearrange the delivery date of one of my projects to make my week better, so I should make it to bed at more reasonable hours for the rest of the week (except for Friday – I’m working til 9:30PM then going to have to finish packing for our trip to my interview, so I’m sure I’ll be up late).
I feel silly for letting myself get in this situation, and I can blame some outside factors for holding me up on my original schedule, but I never want to work myself into being bedridden again. So that’s something for me to bear in mind if I continue trying to freelance while still having such a young child and working a full-time job. I can’t do it all. I have to practice self-care, especially when I’m going on so little sleep. Otherwise I can’t be present for my family or present for the bigger issues facing us a society.
I was going to dive back into a regular blogging schedule, but I took a contract job and caught a really bad head cold, so after working crazy hours this weekend (with another crazy week to follow starting tomorrow), I’m just taking today to sleep and relax and heal as much as possible.
Next week is soon enough to dive into this work again. If I push myself too hard, I’ll really be suffering later.