I’m So Very Very Tired…

Cue Madeline Kahn. If I ever decided to pursue a career in acting, my goal would be to follow in Madeline Kahn’s footsteps.

But seriously, I’m so tired. My 9 month old has been going through a sleep regression for weeks now. And the lack of sleep is taking a huge toll on me emotionally and physically. I’ve been suffering a severe lack of “me” time, either to relax and self-care or to create. We know what we signed up for as parents, especially being the second time around, but it’s still not easy. I pity those who are chronic insomniacs.

I’m also tired in the sense I blogged about last spring. You can read it here. More people seem to be growing aware of the bigger picture, that change is needed, but will it be enough?

And really, I’m so tired of being strong. Strength of will, strength of character, a pillar of strength, a warrior woman, juggling it all… ¬†Is it strength to do what you feel you have to do? I don’t know.

It’s probably a good thing I didn’t start this blog until after my son was a year and a half years old. He was a terrible sleeper and I was a “mombie” for a long time. A couple of weeks at a time with his sister doesn’t seem half bad by comparison.

I’ll be back to normal soon, I hope. I feel like I’ll be emerging from my cocoon soon.

I’m Tired…

I’m tired of living in a world of hypocrisy, where the violence of one group is held up and examined and feared while the violence of another (often the initiators) are ignored. Where we sympathize for some because they’re like us but write off the rest as being unimportant.

I’m tired of the number of mind-controlled people who cannot or will not be shaken out of the ¬†spells they have allowed themselves to fall under and set themselves free because they fear the burden of responsibility and the amount of work that follows.

I’m tired of greed and materialism, of feeling the constant societal pressure to acquire more and more.

I’m tired of the hatred on all sides, at all levels, from the warmongers safely pushing their buttons in a control room to the parents that abuse their children.

I’m tired of caring about people who show little care for themselves.

I’m tired of constantly feeling on the outside of almost everyone else.

I’m tired of wondering if my children will have any kind of future, even as I build what I hope to be a nurturing and bountiful life for them. It seems futile to hope for the best while planning for the worse.

I’m tired of being tired…