A Couple Visualizations

The world has seemed especially bleak lately, hasn’t it? Disturbing videos, articles and op-ed pieces pointing fingers and hurling blame for every societal ill we face, people becoming inundated with guilt and fear and hatred, our so-called leaders and the elite growing more open in their hatred of the general population by the minute it seems. It’s a lot to process, perhaps even too much to process all at once. Which is how it’s designed to be, right? Keep us spinning until we’re dizzy and then we’re just grateful for the slight pauses to catch our breath.

To ground myself and not get sucked in by the chaos, I keep two visualizations in mind. First, each individual person is a drop in the ocean of humanity. So that image of myself as a drop of water in the sea keeps me humble and allows me to go a little easier on myself because a drop of water is sometimes swept along with the collective chaos of the sea. It’s okay to let myself go with the current at times. But a drop of water is also strong. It can continuously purify itself if it gets contaminated through the process of evaporation, always returning back to it’s original molecules. It can shape stone over time, especially when working with other drops. It is the source of life on this planet.

The other visualization is remembering that humans are made of the same stuff of stars, as Carl Sagan famously said. The star I visualize being from originally is a big blue one. This helps me keep my higher self in mind and not give into the pettiness and despair as often as I sometimes feel pulled to. Also, I’ve been working on this visualization to give myself permission to shine. We all should shine as brightly as we are able and not let fear dim our lights.

Do you have any visualizations that you have been working with lately to further your creativity/productivity and keep yourself from sinking too deep into the current muck and mire of modern life?

Time Away

We’ve run away to our aunt’s cottage on Lake Ontario for a couple of days since we didn’t get to travel anywhere really this summer with my being very pregnant and then delivering. Even though we’re still responsible for our two children, it feels nice to step away from the daily routine and be around the water for a bit.

I’m hoping to have a couple of months of being able to get outside more, now that the baby is almost 4 weeks old. Last weekend, we sat with some family at their campsite at a state park for a few hours, and we’ve started taking walks around our neighborhood. It was really difficult being cooped up inside for several weeks, and I want to get to my favorite hiking trails at least once before they close up at the end of October.

Getting back to nature is one of the ways I draw inspiration for my creative work and heal myself, and I am so glad my son likes to walk the trails with me. I can’t wait to introduce my daughter to that as well.

Dive Deep With Me

Dive deep into the waters with me, my love.
We’ll dance slowly as we descend
And dream of the past, present, and future,
All of existence in a single moment.

Come float and drift with me, dear heart.
Allow the waves to wash over us
As hand in hand we renew ourselves
Over and over again, for eternity.

Plunge the depths with me, darling one.
Do so with no fear of the dark.
We exist to shine so do so brightly
For none can glimmer like you.

Copyright 2016, Kat Micari

The Flint, MI Tragedy Or When Human Lives Matter Little

I first heard about the Flint, MI water issues early this past fall, on Tumblr of all places. After investigating it a little online, I reblogged the initial post to spread awareness a little, but mostly I just kept an eye on it from time to time because raising Internet awareness often seems a fruitless task, and there seemed to already be many warriors in the fray on this one. When the mainstream media finally broke with the story, when the government finally admitted to there being a problem, they were showing photos and clips from months before as “breaking news”. How much extra irreparable harm was done because of the delayed reaction and attempt at cover-up on the parts of those groups? I’ll post the link to the Wikipedia article on it, as it seems to give the broadest overview without a particular slant (difficult to find these days).

It is appalling that this situation has happened and that it’s all over water, one of the very essential things to life. Water, I might add, that was being paid for by the citizens, that is STILL being paid for by the citizens, toxins and all. Not a government handout, though one could argue that clean, potable water is a human right and not a luxury. Especially in a nation that many who live in it still cling to the notion of being “the greatest on Earth”, which is laughable if you look at any statistical comparisons.

People have taken to using this situation as an opportunity to take potshots at opposing political sides, which is not helpful to the situation at all and ignores the bigger issue here. We have a population that realized relatively soon that the water was unsafe to drink and it took them way too long to get the situation even acknowledged, let alone begun to be addressed. We have a population essentially trapped where they are now, as they are unable to sell their property and required to still be paying their water bills. We have proof of how much power and control we as citizens have in our current corporate oligarchy we live in, and the answer is “not very much”. This should be raising alarm bells across the country, and it isn’t. This could happen anywhere, whether because of deliberate destruction or greed or gross negligence.  It has happened in the past, with different agricultural and industrial communities. It will happen again in the future. But this is maybe the first time that we can clearly see how far things can go against us as citizens of the United States. And if normal, every day people like me can see it, so can those that are really in control.

I have seen suggestions that perhaps our government is simply too inept to run public works like water supply, and that maybe we should privatize water and allow independent businesses to take over. To that I simply post this link with information to the gas leak currently happening in SoCal. And the thought of companies like CocaCola/Nestle and Pepsi handling our water supply is terrifying. Water traded on the open market in barrels, like oil, isn’t a distant dystopian fiction but a potential reality and one that I don’t want any part of. Privatization isn’t going to fix anything. Holding everyone responsible in these situations that are responsible will. Raising a population that is educated and morally (not religiously but truly morally) upright will. Bowing down a little less before the almighty dollar will. And people willing to get a little more angry about their rights and freedoms and safety being compromised and a little less angry about their favorite sports team losing may just help a little bit too.

I try to live each day with hope for the future. But I always have kept in the back of my mind the question of “what would be the tipping point for us as Americans to really get off our butts and restructure the way our nation is run and our lives?” If lack of potable drinking, and being required to pay for the toxic water offered in it’s place, isn’t enough to mobilize our citizens, what is? I truly wonder. Are there too many people asleep now? Too many complacent cogs in the machine? I don’t know. I truly hope not.

I Didn’t See the Ocean Today – a poem

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I didn’t see the ocean today
Didn’t hear its roar
Didn’t taste its salt coating my lips
Didn’t feel the wet sand between my toes

I didn’t dance on its shores
Didn’t meditate at its edge
Didn’t sing with the gulls
Didn’t race the wind

I didn’t see the ocean today.
What a waste.

Copyright 2008, Kat Micari

I post this older poem on a cold, blustery day here in the northeast, where I begin to doubt I’ll ever see the thaw come. When I wrote the piece, I was in my last semester of grad school, buried in work, and even though we lived a mere three blocks from the ocean, I hadn’t been able to see it more than briefly from the car or city bus for months. The poem was a reminder to myself to reconnect with nature whenever possible, something that I still have a difficult time keeping in mind. Well, I’m better than I used to be, which is at least a small consolation.

And yes, there is quite a bit of trash and debris in that photo. Most people chose not to  swim in the waters near where I lived as it was too close to the harbor and off-shore oil refineries, but there was an awesome biking/walking trail and a huge expanse of sand that was cleaner the further you got from the actual shore.

Renewed and Refreshed

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On Saturday, I made the two hour trek with my 3 1/2 year old son to my aunt-in-law’s cottage on Lake Ontario for a clambake (the same cottage we stay at in our annual New Year artist/writer retreat). As soon as we got there and started in on our greetings, my son started saying “I want to go see the water! Go see the water?”, and I told him that we had to finish saying hello to people first. After the round of hellos were through, hand in hand, the two of us ran to the deck overlooking the water, wind in our faces, laughing and shrieking at the cold. Then we stood on the deck, watching the water, though I was torn between finding solace in the waves and just watching my son watch the water. Then he was off, running, me at his heels until he reached out his hand for me again, and we went to the neighbor’s deck, which sits lower to the water and he had explored this past 4th of July. And again, we both just watched the waves and felt the wind and grinned at each other. We bundled up later and spent more time by the water.

It was one of those absolutely perfect moments that life hands to you at times, that indelibly imprints in your mind and lets you replay it like a movie. I don’t talk a lot here about my son (beyond complaining about him keeping me up at night) or my views on motherhood, but it is such a profound joy to me. Every day that I get to spend watching him grow further into himself, every moment he slows me down and lets me see the world through his eyes, every time his sweet smile makes my heart feel so full that it should overflow but somehow it doesn’t, it gives everything else in my life such profound meaning.

It was worth having to stay up late Friday and Sunday night working to be able to do the trip, to go to the water’s edge and have this time with my son. All I could think as we ran to the water was Please don’t let him ever lose the joy of running full into the wind and loving the water. I hope he keeps it into adulthood as I have. As a seemingly inherited trait, there are far worse ones he could have.

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