Being Ready

I am wrapping up my contracts for the school year. I have one more day with the the part-time gig, and one more show I’m designing that goes up at the end of May, and then I really have nothing booked for the summer and only one for sure contract for the fall.

I am both excited and nervous about the time available to me both before my kids get out of school and for being home with them for the summer. I know I will bring in some money doing alts and custom work, but financially I don’t have anything to count on, which is where the nervousness comes from, especially with the creeping prices of everything and knowing we have a big trip we are paying for rather than stashing money into savings and some work that we really want/need to get done on the house. Excited because I have so many house/organization projects and personal creative projects and training I want to do, and I want to get outside a lot more. My kids and I had a rough school year of illnesses, so we all need as much fresh air and physical growth as we can get. And I can’t let the nervousness of the finances paralyze me on the creative front. I refuse to repeat that destructive cycle.

Anyway, for this blog, expect more regular posts, including bringing back the Writer Prompt Wednesday posts, and hopefully having time to play the uke again and doing those posts as well. Now that my kids are getting older, I’m hoping they are more self-sufficient a bit this summer too, and I will be able to continue some of the creative growth in between spending time with them and on the house.

That of course is assuming the world doesn’t crumble around us, which is always a possibility, and I acknowledge that without letting it take control of me.

If you’d like to share, tell me what you are working on creatively to inspire me in my own journey!

Revisiting The End, an original song

The End, an original song

I’ve been thinking a lot about this song lately, as I’m finishing up my year working part-time at a local college and have one costume design left for May. I need to listen to myself closely these next couple of weeks and find out what “true” means to me. I haven’t had a lot of time to process in many months.

Art Print Sale

I’ve decided to try to clear out a lot of old projects, so I am doing a sale on these two 8.5″ x 11″ art prints. Originally $10, now $7, with a flat rate shipping of $7 to the domestic U.S. that includes insurance. If you are outside the U.S., I can look up shipping costs and quote you. I will send a Paypal invoice from my costume/custom clothing account for record keeping.

Both of these original pieces are also available, the skull is on illustration board and the mermaid is on watercolor paper mounted to a canvas. I can send images, dimensions, and a price quote if you are interested. A lot of my other original art is available too if you’d like to check out https://katmicari.wordpress.com/art/ I can send dimensions, materials, and pricing on anything you are interested in!

I think it’s important to clear some old art out so I can feel inspired to create new art, and we are also trying to raise some money to cover some bills and save up for a big trip this summer.

A Variety of Viewpoints

I am someone who tries to listen to and read a varied diet of materials. I want my brain to take in as much as possible so I can always be challenging my inner status quo. I feel like it helps keep me honest to myself, whenever I can sit in the discomfort of a challenging thought and determine whether that thought is correct or partially correct or wholly incorrect. Sitting in that discomfort is not easy because it triggers the desire to turn away, put up walls, or sometimes even to get angry at the source of that discomfort. I’m really fortunate to have an amazing life partner and a few friends who are willing to help me work through this when I feel unequal to the task I have set upon myself, but it’s mostly deep inner work that is done in solitude in little bits.

It has been a couple decades of doing this consciously, and I think I’ve always done it to a certain extent unconsciously. But the downside is it’s really hard for me to rally to a cause or to hold onto anger anymore (or maybe I’m just too old and tired, ha!). When you can see everybody’s side, when you can follow the thread back even a few generations sometimes, and when you know the why even as you see the futility of it all… I don’t know. I feel like it’s useful, as a creative and as a human being. The efforts I’ve made since grad school when doing research and deciding I no longer wanted to live “either/or” but rather “and” in life have opened up a wide variety of opportunities to learn and grow as a person. It’s not easy, though, and sometimes when I’m worn out or anguishing over the state of the world, I wish for the bliss of ignorance and innocence again. I don’t think I’d change things.

Anyway, just getting philosophical a bit today, as I have had time this week to do some deep thinking. What do you think about sitting in discomfort? How do you like best to continue your personal growth? And how do you tie that back into your creativity?

Nature’s Art – a poem for Writer Prompt Wednesday #13

I actually started this one a week ago but lost the started poem when my computer restarted itself before I had saved, then I pouted a bit before rewriting it. I think it is maybe stronger than my first attempt, but I won’t ever know for sure!

Music Monday – Some Self Expression

I have been trying to tap deeper I to my creative wells, and I think, like everything, it takes time and a willingness to sit with one’s self. Anyway, just wanted to share this snippet!

Begetting Violence Illustration and Not-Quite-A-Poem

A man set himself on fire in protest, and the world did not stop on a dime. He was only 25.

A man set himself on fire in protest, speaking Truth with a capital T, and I wonder how many people can really accept that truth and allow it into their worldview.

A man set himself on fire in protest, and I think it shouldn’t be this way. But it is, and I’ve lost so much of my fire and hope over the years, and I know this is by design, which should just make me fight harder instead of cocooning myself in a protective shell.

A man set himself on fire in protest, and on the same day, after watching Lord of the Rings Two Towers for the first time, my 7yo said “I’m so glad there isn’t war anymore”. And because I walk the fine line of always speaking truth to my children while allowing them to stay children, I replied “There isn’t any war HERE right now. And I hope you never have to witness it like those children in the movie did.” And I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, because of the guilt I feel that my children are sheltered and I still wish for them to remain sheltered while our tax dollars allow others to rain wanton violence and destruction all over the world, because our peace here has been bought by the bloodshed and famine of other families, because of the unknown question of if and when war will make it’s way to the U.S., because of the feelings of helplessness I have in causing any greater societal change while struggling to survive and thrive with more feelings of guilt for even attempting to thrive, because I know my children will soon have the illusion of safety removed from them and realize that there is both good and true evil in the world and I remember how that felt, because I’ve been privileged and my kids are privileged to have even been in a state of innocence.

A man set himself on fire in protest, and while life is continues on, I will do my small part to shift myself and society even while feeling it will never be enough, because to do less means succumbing to the status quo. And that is unacceptable to me.

The Importance of Rest

I just finished working on two shows that open today and tomorrow, and I’m finally to the point where I accept that my life is going to be crazy during the few weeks leading up to opening, and that it is necessary to rest and recover after the work is done. The physical and mental wear and tear takes a toll, one that needs to be honored rather than begrudgingly taken as a fact.

This is a big development in my inner voice, so I’m sharing it here. It’s taken decades to get to this point, of being able to not expect to be a constant machine-like outpouring stream of creativity, but that the ebb and flow is natural and makes for better work. I will always have a sense of impatience that all the things can’t be created at once, that there are never enough hours in the day, but I can even give grace to that impatience now, then let it go.

Hopefully I will have a good solid month of creative work I can share here before I go crazy on three productions going up in April. We shall see how it goes!

Writer Prompt Wednesday #13 Assignment

Almost a month later, and I’m back with another Writer Prompt Wednesday assignment! This time it’s the letter M, and the word is mesa, which is an isolated flat-topped hill. The assignment is to use this word in a poem, song lyric, or short work of fiction.

If you choose to take part in this assignment, please share with me here!

Art Practice

I’ve been wanting to go through The Natural Way to Draw by Nicolaides for years now. I started it back in grad school, and I continued working my way through for a while after grad school, but I feel like my art needs to do a leap forward again. I meant to start it once my youngest started school, but I wanted to be able to do one lesson a week, and I was never able to do that. So now I’m trying for at least once a month while the kids are in school, and slowly I will inch my way through the lessons.

My January lesson was all contour drawings, and it was so difficult to slow down and do it properly. I’m using poses from Quickposes since I don’t have access to a live model. I just fast forward if the lighting is too extreme.

Here is the only contour drawing I can post from that set. I’m someone who usually is into gesture drawing, but the contour drawing is really good for me.